(For Those Who Overthink at 2 AM)

Congrats, you have a conscience! Guilt is like a nosy neighbor—it won’t leave until you acknowledge it. But don’t worry, we’ve got a plan to kick it out.

• Good Guilt – Stops you from stealing candy from babies.
• Bad Guilt – Makes you feel awful about eating the last slice of pizza.
• Phantom Guilt – Feeling responsible for global warming because you used a plastic straw once.

1. To a Priest – Classic move. They’ve heard worse.
2. To a Friend – A 3 AM “Sorry for being a jerk in 2012” text works.
3. To Yourself – Look in the mirror and say, “Relax, you’re not a supervillain.”
4. To Your Pet – Cats don’t care. Dogs will love you anyway.

1. Admit It – Say it out loud. “I ate Karen’s leftovers.”
2. Own It – No excuses. Just accept.
3. Apologize (Maybe) – But don’t overdo it. A simple “Sorry” is fine.
4. Make Amends – Buy Karen new Chinese food. Bonus: an egg roll.
5. Let It Go – Seriously, nobody else remembers.

Confess, fix what you can, and move on. 

Life’s too short to stress over things your brain refuses to let go of.

Now go forth—guilt-free.